Before 2019 actually started, my husband and I sat down and tried to come up with New Year’s Resolutions that we wanted to start. But when I really thought about it, I didn’t actually want to “start” anything new. Honestly, I just want to do more of what brings me tranquility. A lot of that we’re already doing. Since mid-October my husband and I have run a 5k nearly every weekend including Thanksgiving and Christmas weekends. We wanted to exercise more and this was a small commitment once a week we could push ourselves to do no matter what. A lot of people look at the new year and think it means a fresh opportunity to change something about yourself. Personally, I have a few problems with that.
The first is that change only happens if you want it to and if you really want it, then it can happen at any point and you don’t need a new year to make it happen. Having faith in yourself to do something, anything, is the first piece. Even before deciding on the thing itself you first need to believe that you’re capable. I hate running, I’m terrible at it. I run a mile in 10 minutes and I’m winded! Just because I’m slow doesn’t mean that I can’t do it, it only means that I’m slower than others. That’s it, nothing more. My best 5k time was around 40 minutes. Now, that won’t be winning me any prizes and I’m going to finish just fine. The first step in deciding to run a 5k every weekend was knowing that I could, regardless of the time, and the second was motivation, which I’ll get to later.
The second thing is that, “New Year, New Me” mantra makes it seem so easy, succinct, and simple. Becoming the person we want to be is hard! It’s a daily choice that doesn’t just start because a new year started. I am a huge proponent that how you present on the outside correlates with how you feel on the inside. I don’t normally do anything special with my hair or face to get ready for work. Why? Because I’m too lazy! I have the stuff but I don’t allow myself enough time in the mornings to use any of it. I like my sleep. Waking up an extra five minutes is enough of a struggle for me. I realized though, that if I didn’t give myself enough time to do my hair semi-decently, that the whole day I felt frumpy and concerned if I was projecting myself the way I want to be perceived. Of course I don’t want to hang on to people’s opinion of me! but I still want to present a polished, collected adult. Since I don’t roll out of bed with poise, I had to put in the effort to get the results I crave. The struggle with my alarm clock is real. I’m the kind of person that has four alarms so that I can snooze the first two, maybe get up for the third, and then scramble at the fourth. Waking up earlier meant going to bed earlier, which in turn meant setting up a better night time routine, which meant knowing how to use my time productively when I got home and not watching tv for hours before I started things. Getting ready in the morning wasn’t as simple as just doing it or even waking up earlier, it was a whole shift in how I allotted my time and viewed my day. That goes for anything. I, like most human beings, am a creature of habit. It’ll take a lot for me to change said habit, I’ll have to push through the slug days.
Thirdly, you don’t necessarily need to change anything about yourself. Often times the thing we, as people, need most is time and space to be ourselves. I never felt more at peace with myself than this past Christmas. We were at my in-laws (who I love by the way) and for a full week I had the time to craft, cook, eat, watch youtube and hallmark movies, and try different health/beauty things. It was bliss. I felt so relaxed and rested to come back to work on January 2nd. I wasn’t dreading it, I wasn’t wistfully wanting more days off, I was ready. On December 30th, before we started our drive home, I told my husband that I wanted to start a blog. I wanted to blog about all the things I love doing as a release and as a means to continue doing what I enjoy. See, I had come to the realization that I all I wanted for 2019 was more of what I already had in my life. I want to craft more fun projects that I’ve been storing away for when I have more time. I want to cook more interesting foods instead of sharing them on facebook. I want to try more at home pampering techniques that I’ve felt too tired to try. I want to do all of that and I want to share it with anyone who’ll listen.
And so, I present: Oh M Ghee.